We have all come across situations where it’s hard to convince a person about consequences for their wrongful actions. Made up minds are shut for any concrete advice. People may not understand the consequences of their wrongdoings due to a lack of self-awareness, a cognitive bias like the Dunning-Kruger effect (The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias where people with low ability in a specific area overestimate their own competence, while those with high ability underestimate theirs), a fixed mindset, or an external locus of control where they blame outside forces. This happens because those with low competence lack the cognitive skills to recognize their own deficiencies, leading to overconfidence.
Immediate evident consequences maybe delayed resulting in impaired emotional state of a person to learn from their harmful behavior. Emotional regulation issues, fear of failure, perfectionism, or cultural influences also play a role. A healthy response to correction involves adapting your behavior to a situation, even when emotions are difficult. Some of the psychological factors affecting such a behavior are:
>Lack of Self-Awareness: An individual must first acknowledge their mistake to change their behavior. Without this awareness, it's impossible to learn from the experience.
>Fixed Mindset: Believing that abilities are static can prevent individuals from seeing a mistake as a learning opportunity.
>Mood swings: Frequent and rapid changes in one’s emotional state.
>Outbursts: Intense and unpredictable expressions of anger or other emotions, even over small things.
>Feeling overwhelmed: Experiencing emotions so strong that they are difficult to control or manage.
>Impulsivity: Difficulty controlling urges and behaviors due to strong emotions.
If you are a parent, friend, well-wisher trying your best to advise and counsel an individual when making a mistake but failed to convince the person, then I understand the emotions you must be going through. We correct our loved ones to protect them from consequences whether now or later. Bloated ego and stubbornness become a major hurdle to accepting correction. Delayed consequences have a downside as they encourage pride. The book of Proverbs in the Bible states, "He that withdraws himself seeks his own desire". You will find this state more in children and youth as they think they know it all. In the age of information, they feel powerful. Bible states “…Knowledge puffeth up…”. Knowledge alone is not enough, they need wisdom and discretion, which is again the matter of the heart. God is gracious enough to bless them with these to those who long for it.
The Bible states, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”. It takes humility to accept advises. Parents can feel helpless when knowing their children who refuse to be corrected and accept advise are going to hit rock bottom. In times like these all one can do is to be there for the person and show immense love. Certain consequences because of an action are hard to be deterred but pray that the person is open to correction. "Open rebuke is better than secret love" is a biblical proverb, meaning that honest, open correction or criticism, even if painful, is more beneficial and a truer expression of care than love that is never shown or expressed openly. Bible also states, "The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy". May His mercy be showered on all such people who are struggling to receive correction and know the truth.
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