A personal Assessment of 2019

If you have to look back at 2019 and take stock of your greatest achievement or loss what would that look like? To know which will make its ways on the top in terms of all your greatest achievement can be a difficult exercise, and for some very personal too. The challenge to do an analysis like this is that for every individual the parameters and how they define their achievements and losses are sometimes relative and varied.

Generally, people count their ‘havings’ and ‘possessions’ as greatest achievements. Anything that has a monetary value gives people a temporary sense of satisfaction. In human standards people find meaning in life in what they possess. The more stuff they have, they more it possesses them. Young people consider the year to be successful and a year of fun by the amount of time they were able to hang around with friends, partying and making some money in the course of time.

Usually the understanding of achievements is confined to abundance. Abundance in things and material. Little do all know that what disorients people is not the scarcity but abundance. Nicholoas Taleb American essayist and scholar puts it beautifully “Abundance is harder for us to handle than scarcity.”. If you look around at the madness created in our nation, it is not from the people of the middle class or below poverty line, but from people who are tycoons and the famous making a mess in the country with their atrocities and deception. What does that say?

Leonard Woolf, the great British man of letters, husband of Virginia Woolf, the essayist, says, “It seems like I’ve done perfectly useless work for the last five to seven years.”. “Meaning is found in something you create, experience or change.” Or, “Meaning is found in something you do, someone you love, and something you hope for.”.

Relationship with God, I mean the personal relationship, is the greatest achievements because that transforms us to be a better person God intended us to be. May God help you to unfold the purpose of God in our lives. The Bible says “What does it benefit someone to gain the whole world and yet lose his life?”. Make your life worthy of living and spread kindness and humaneness everywhere and that can happen when you accept not His teaching alone but consider building a meaningful relationship. Wishing you a great year ahead.

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loneliness & Restlessness!

As human being we all happen to be lonely at some point of time. Especially, when our loved ones go far away from us, or in some cases when they leave the earth permanently. The other areas can include loss of job, broken friendship, broken marriage, altercations, comparing ourselves with someone who is materialistically sound and feeling miserable. This is particularly common among children and young people. Also, among the old in some cases.

History and other field of science go with the Biblical model of creation due to its compatibility. If you follow the story on the creation of the first man Adam it is recorded that God found man to be lonely and therefore, He found the need to create Eve. The woman was designed for companionship and to be a helper to man. God established family, put all of us in setting of a community in order keep us intact with each other. We are not created to operate from ourselves, and live within ourselves.

Today instead of Eve, the woman, man is finding "Steve", a man for himself and trying to replace woman. Does it give him a long-lasting happiness? Some may agree, yes it does, but do they truly know the reality? Happiness is not in finding something new and different. Man has continually tried to invent and find something new and glory on it.  And then, very soon the excitement extinguishes, he finds himself back to loneliness again. "Steve" has not made a difference in his life.

Materialism and temporary pleasures don't give permanent happiness. It does for a very very short time and then people start hunting for something else. The law of pleasure tells that each time one goes to find the illegitimate pleasure in wrong places he may have to go much deeper, but it is less satisfying. And then the aftermath effect is even more devastating because you become the victim of guilt and loneliness. 

Today most of the people are suffering with some serious guilt and feeling lonely and restless. And to get rid of the same they entangle themselves with wrong things as part of fun activities doing things publicly and most of the time privately.

The problem is personal and to do with person hood. Therefore, you and I need a personal God. Well I am not pointing to a season of Christmas or Santa Claus because that cannot save us from our loneliness too. Religion and festivals have less lasting effect on human being. It cannot deliver us and give us peace and internal happiness.

We need a savior and Christmas is all about relationship, forgiveness, humaneness, love and care. Would you consider finding lasting happiness for your soul and live a fulfilled life? The Bible records by saying, "I came that they may have life and life in abundance." God bless you and have a fulfilled life.

https://knowgod.com/en/fourlaws

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Handling Crucial communication!

When it is comes to communication, the biggest challenge for all of us is to know how we handle an important conversation with grace and maintain a cordial relationship. Sometimes we witness a conversation becoming shrewd, aggressive, deceptive and we wish if they were honest in what they just said. Most of the time we think the content of the message should be good, Not true completely. “Intent precedes content”, meaning when your intentions are right and mutually benefiting then for sure your conversation becomes pleasing.

How do we typically handle crucial conversation?

We can avoid them,

We can face and handle them poorly,

We can face them and handle them well.

Have you noticed when it matters most, we do our worst, that is because our emotions don’t exactly prepare us to converse effectively? We are our worst enemies—and we don’t realize it.

First focus on what we really want?

Anytime a conversation turns to be selfish then for sure the disagreement level gets higher resulting to contempt. “When we are not prepared for a healthy communication we move to a silence or violence mode"

What do we mean?

Silence

Masking: consists of understanding or selectively showing our true opinions. Example Sarcasm and couching

Avoiding:  involves steering completely away from sensitive subjects.

Withdrawing: means pulling out of a conversation altogether

Violence

Controlling: where we use all power to control the conversation and turn it to our favor.

Labeling: when we label a person with a negative remark in order to show us superior or turn things to our favor.

Attacking: When all effort is taken to attack with words in order to win the situation and get the person out of the track.

The quality of your communication depends upon the state of your heart and that again depends upon your relationship with God and with people. Thomas Merton puts it beautifully, “We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God”. Let us be conscious to be graceful yet assertive.”. Bring positivity and healing through your communication

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True Freedom

Some people think freedom is the right to do whatever they want. They have the right to say whatever they think, do whatever they feel like doing, mutilate their bodies however they desire, allow into their minds whatever they find entertaining, and go wherever they think they will have a good time. The news of shocking rapes, murder, embezzlement is continuously making the headlines in our nation and worldwide. It is sad to know how the freedom is misused and misinterpreted.

Freedom means something different. It is the ability to say 'no' when 'yes' is easier and more convenient. If you do not have the power to say 'no' and to follow through with the corresponding action, you are not free but bound. Being able to say 'no' to wrong and inappropriate things means you can say 'yes' to right and appropriate things. This is freedom. People who are bound are stuck doing the wrong things when they want to do right.

Let’s not forget that we have a soul and a spirit governed by spiritual laws and not natural ones. If you cannot say 'no' to an emotion, relationship, behavior, or the like, you are not free but bound. The Bible talks about the struggle of mankind in this way, “For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. . . . For I know that nothing good dwells in me . . . for the willing [to live right] is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.”.

Anyone who has been trapped in a cycle of unwanted behavior can identify with this passage. We dismiss our errant tendencies by saying, “I’m only human,” as if being human means we cannot overcome our weaknesses. You are created in the image and likeness of God. He did not create you to go through life flawed but fabulous. Ask God for help to give you the freedom to say “no” to evil and influence people to do good.

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Making a living or making a life?

Do you know you are richer than 93% of people? Not in money but in time. Now study shows that 108 billion people have lived throughout history. 93% of them are dead. You have what every king and queen, every pharaoh and ruler every CEO and celebrity of the past would give all their wealth for: Today

The question is how you wish to spend your time today? How are you planning to build your life today? Winston Churchill puts this in his words, “We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give.”. In other words, are you willing to consciously influence people whom you would meet and leave a positive impression? Or you are among the group who confess, “I am too busy for myself and I don’t intend to think in those lines". Actually, this is not true completely. We all leave either a positive or negative influence consciously or unconsciously.

“Sociologist, Tim Elmore tell us, that even the most introverted individual will influence 10,000 people in his/her life time”.  Since this is a proven fact, don’t you think it will be better if we try to leave a positive impression consciously than leaving a negative impression in abundance. You cannot be selective in your operation. The effect of impact we create or leave with others outside would have an effect in our homes too. Gandhiji rightly said, “One man cannot do right in one department of life, whilst he is doing wrong in any other department. Life is indivisible whole.”.

The Bible records the words of Jesus, and it goes like this, “A good tree can’t produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit.”. To bear good fruit you need to be rooted in the source of a good God who is not only right when you are right but right even when you are wrong, and more importantly He has the capacity to transform you to be a good person who spreads the goodness to others at large. Connect with this divine source and be transformed to be a person who gives life to others.

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