Talking about transactional analysis there are four premises founded by Dr Eric Berne which goes as follows; I am OK you are OK, I am OK you are not OK, I am not OK you are OK, I am not OK you are not OK. Somewhere we find ourselves in one premise or the another in our life in different situations. I would like to highlight the second premise "I am OK, you are not OK". This is an Arrogant/Aggressive position. This attitude is self-focused, where an individual blames others for their problems and view themselves as superior while devaluing the dignity of people around them. They keep judging everyone else other than themselves. They go to an extent of manipulating and tarnishing the image of others because they need to show they are OK and, in the right, when they are miserable in their thought and action. In this world this type of personality is labeled as Narcissist.
Narcissists always want to win and gratify themselves. Self-image is very important. You will see this in business/corporate sector where they want to put down others for their upliftment. If they cannot find fault at their work, they would character assassinate someone to shift attention away from them. This happens in families too. One family member strives to claim he/she is ok while other family members are not. When it comes to victimizing others, people usually lie to establish the foundation. They lie, including in the name of God. Deception is at large in all spectrums of human lives. There are cases when someone is wrong but people who think they are better than themselves are miserable. These people fail to accept the fact that others have changed for the better but keep tormenting the person attracting more condemnation on themselves.
Jesus lashed out the pharisee by saying, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” You can judge and correct others provided you are not conceited by self-righteousness. Paul while writing the book of Romans states, "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand." We all have our own personal agendas unknown to others and sometimes become arrogant to have an attitude which is known as “holier than thou art” attitude. The Bible states “God weighs the motives”. Therefore, no one can escape proving themselves right by condemning others. We all have a responsibility when it comes to correcting and helping someone who is struggling or who needs to be corrected without justifying oneself and condemning others.
The Bible states in “Proverbs 20:23, which declare that using false scales is an "abomination" to God. “Differing scales are detestable to the Lord, and dishonest scales are unfair.” God avenges all who love unfair scales to judge oneself lightly and others vehemently. You are accountable for every careless word you speak and shall give an account of yourself before God. Be fair, judge no one abruptly and help people. Christ demonstrated His love while we were yet sinners. Can we show some grace? We all need His grace in abundance, forgiveness from our sins and be transformed by Christ’s Love. You can know more about Him, because Jesus is different, a God who lives after His death.
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