Tired of Tough Life?

 

I don’t think anyone on this planet earth who would intentionally choose to live life on the edge, constantly. We prefer to live life in our terms - comfortable, rich and to have all the pleasures of this world within our reach. However, we are ignorant at times of the fact that the ultimate comfort and luxury come at a price. People cross boundaries, cut corners to achieve it. Oscar Wilde is a great example of a man who was known to live a life on his terms. He was both famous and infamous for his wit, flamboyance, and affairs with men. He was tried and imprisoned for his homosexual relationship (then considered a crime) with the son of an aristocrat. In his novel “the Picture of Dorian Gray” He states this, “You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit”.

The comforts of life don’t sharpen our attitude and our character. Whereas it’s the pressures of life that shapes us to be a better human being. If you observe people who have gone through tremendous challenges and crisis, they have stories to inspire and motivate us. Whereas people who lived on their terms may flaunt of all their experiences but deep down have incidents and stories of regrets.

I love to use this following inspiring illustration to explain my point.

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish... But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So, to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went further than ever. The further the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh. To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go further and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan. How did they manage?  To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark. The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us also live in a pond tired and dull because of all the comforts at our reach? Basically, in our lives, new challenges are the ‘sharks’ that keep us active and in a good shape. Jesus promises which are recorded in the Bible says this, “You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”.  Your challenges keep you energized. Don't create success and celebrate in it in a state of inertia. But if you are overladen with burden and too weary, you can come to the Savior and ask Him to help you. You will never be ignored. Jesus, the Savior of the world, conquered death and rose to victory. Your problem is not bigger than His death and resurrection.

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Are you living with regrets?

 

In an article ‘Negative Memories May Be More Vivid Than Happy Ones’ by Jennifer Warner explains how our brain could retain more than usual. It describes how bad events and incidents are retained in our brain for longer period and recalled more easily and in greater detail than good ones. Negative emotions like fear and sadness trigger increased activity in a part of the brain linked to memories. These emotionally charged memories are preserved in greater detail than happy or more neutral memories, but they may also be subject to distortion.

The study of psychology states that the greater power of bad events over good ones is found in everyday events, major life events (e.g., trauma), close relationship outcomes, social network patterns, interpersonal interactions, and learning processes. Bad emotions, bad parents, and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad information is processed more thoroughly than good. Bad impressions and bad stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones.

The outcome of all the bad happenings and events including our faltering, and mistakes we commit not only linger in our mind as memories, but it confines us to live with regrets that impacts our present. Living with regrets is not only the bad happenings or expectations deprived, but the mistakes we intentionally and unintentionally commit. Our past affects the present happiness. And to manage the same we use our power to lead a selfish life, ignoring the realities of life. In the process we hurt God and constantly hurt each other.

When we intentionally wrong others, we smother the guilt and start displaying more erroneous behaviour to an extent that we become numb to other person’s feelings and emotions. Such are not just a behaviour deficit or mere deviations as the world tags it but sinning against God and hurting God. God’s words as recorded in the Bible says, “But one who sins against me injures himself; All those who hate me love death”.   Injuring oneself means living a life with restlessness and regret which are the effects of sin.

We just cannot overlook our past mistakes and happenings. Well, I am not talking about the philosophy of Karma, where one may not be present there at all. But I am referring to a past where one in his/her full consciousness makes mistakes and commits sin that it stays with the person as a form of guilt. When we approach the judgement seat of God, as the Bible records, Christ Jesus will judge both the living and dead, we will be found guilty and judged to an extent that we will perish in eternal fire. This is not a fairy tale stories but is factual and evidential because the Bible talks about Jesus who is the only God incarnated, rose from the dead. Therefore, all that He said about Heaven and Hell is true.

You can reconcile with your past if you confess your sins and your wrongdoings to Jesus the Savior, living a guilt-free life without any regrets, lasting peace, hope and spreading genuine unselfish love for one-another.

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Reference:

https://www.webmd.com/brain/news/20070829/bad-memories-easier-to-remember

"Unity in diversity"

 

This title can be looked upon as a trademark and copyright for Indians. Our relation to this ideology of ‘Unity in Diversity’ is so strong for us because we are way too diversified in terms of religion, creed, language and ethnicity and yet maintain harmony to a larger extent. Our culture and faith may be different yet the thing that stands common, is our belongingness to our country. And this premise stands for any country. This ideology of maintaining unity is indeed appealing and we hope it never gets disrupted. Most of the problem in any country is flared up due to the difference in religion, ethnicity, color, culture, caste and other factors, which are damaging the brotherhood.

One factor upon which the nation should strive is to bring cohesiveness based solely on the citizenship of a country. But today people are dividing themselves based on the religious and ethnic ideology. It has become like; us vs them, and the politicians are using it to work on their favor. What is your religion promoting? What are the politicians promoting? There are sad stories and incidents that reveal that fanatics are forcing religious ideologies, treating people inhumanly, barging into homes and their religious buildings, using religious slogans to intimidate people to deny their faith and adopt their creed? How pathetic men could be? Fighting on behalf of gods is such an illogical, self-defeating worldview people are holding on to.

If the scriptures are saying to hurt people who are not part of your religious system, then something drastically is wrong with the creed. So many Politicians and Government systems are running their offices today and winning elections based on the religious differences. It is sad!  Let me narrate an incident recorded in human history. When Jesus was on trial before Pilate who was the Roman governor of Judea between 26-36 CE. He was under Emperor Tiberius, who presided at the trial of Jesus and gave the order for Jesus’ crucifixion. Pilate commented by saying, “Your own nation and the chief priests have delivered You to me. What have You done?” Jesus’ responded, “My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now My kingdom is not from here.”.

This response turns the table in human history. When almost all religion is fighting to establish their religious identity, building magnificent structures for their gods at the cost of disrupting unity and hurting people, Jesus pointed out that there is no need of a religiosity and a need to fight for Him or to establish a religion around Him. Instead He urged that every individual find the person Christ Jesus, who is the  way to eternal everlasting kingdom. Our relationship with God and with one another matters the most.

Jesus could boldly summarise all commandments to the greatest two, which requires to love Him (God) with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbours. When we commit our life to Him and honestly start loving one another, then the unity that we seriously long for will never be too far. If you read the books of history and Bible you will find Jesus looked at men beyond race and birth and color and believed in the sacredness of personality as such. God did not create man in a particular religion, race and caste because religion is the cause of all fragmentation.  Unity and cohesiveness depend on our finding the God of Love who offered Himself for mankind.

 

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I wish I had what I longed for!

 

Everyone on this planet earth lives with expectations. If someone is without any expectations, then it can be assumed that he/she is dead and buried. Expectations vary from person-to-person and change from time to time. Not necessarily everyone has a big unattainable expectation. Sometimes it can be a small unmet need. When expectations are drastically different from reality then these words are uttered with a sigh, “I wish I had what I longed for…”

Many children and young people lament asking, ‘why I don’t have what I longed for?’ and sometimes take difficult measures to mitigate their disappointments. When marriages are in the verge of falling apart then at least one of the partners desperately moans and utters these words, ‘I wish I had what I longed for’.  As long as we breathe, we may live with such yearnings, but not necessary all our yearnings can turn into a reality. Even if we achieve our expectations by all means, we may still not be able to sustain it. It is because we live in an evil world where sin harbours in human heart from where it breeds all evil. The problem of evil keeps people in constant state of emptiness irrespective of their fulfilled dreams. Sin issue leaves people fragmented but often overlooked or addressed through religious obligations and fail miserably.

If you talk to the ones who have a broken marriage, they will tell us that they first assumed they were the perfect match and would make a perfect couple, but soon turned out to be a nightmare. In most cases during the wait period before marriage and in some cases just before engagement all hell breaks loose. In fact, most of the marriages occur in some religious places or in the court of law. The priest and the religious clergies are the ones who solemnize the marriage, yet we know of cases who parted their ways with hurts. Where it is solemnized doesn’t make any difference. Religious rituals have less control over our behaviour and lifestyle. It does not have power over our longings and disappointment.

Our expectations are misplaced when our focus in life is vague and fleeting. We look to the world to fulfil our longings when everyone in it is trying to grab a piece of meat for themselves. We fail to realize that only one person on this Earth can fill us with that void, i.e. Jesus Christ.

He is God who came in human form and absolutely understood what it takes to be a human with all our longings and emotions. When we really delve into our expectations, they either stem from our selfish desires or desire for self-importance, which leads us to sin. The void that we feel can be filled only by God and that is the reason we need to invite Christ in our hearts.

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it in abundance”. Longings are heart-matter and only a Saviour who created it will know how to heal it. It is important to surrender our lives to Christ because He is the only one who knows what is best for us and it is more important to know that He does this out of love. Would you like to invite Him in your hearts today? He is the one your heart has been wishing and longing for all along.

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Stop Phubbing!

I am not sure if you have come across this word “Phubbing”. But this is such a serious issue in our present age where almost all have been impacted by the same. In fact, it is the result of a major breakdown of etiquette and ethics of all time. Let’s see, what this word means? According to Cambridge Dictionary it means, “the act of ignoring someone you are with and giving attention to your mobile phone instead.”. Researchers have found almost half of relationships are affected by phubbing.

Phubbing was first coined as a term in May 2012. An Australian advertising agency created this word to describe the growing phenomenon of people ignoring their friends and family who were right in front of them and instead scrolling through their phones. Soon after, the “Stop Phubbing” campaign was launched. One study found that more than 17 percent of people phub at least four times a day. Almost 32 percent of people being phubbed two to three times a day. Phubbing and smartphone use also can have an impact on marriages. A study found that spouses who phub each other experience higher rate of depression.

What’s the driving force behind those feelings? Phubbing is a threat to four “fundamental needs,” the study Trusted Source found. Those core needs are:

• belongingness
• self-esteem
• meaningful existence
• control

When someone phubs you, you may feel rejected, excluded, and not important. That can have a significant impact on your mental health. Research also shows that people who are phubbed are more likely to reach for their phones and try to engage with their social media network in order to fill that void. This is the start of a vicious cycle.

We seriously have lost our basic decency. Man’s egocentric nature is growing day by day. We care no more of how others feel while we exhibit such behaviour, as long as it satisfies us. The problem with ethics, etiquette, creed, and religion is that they don’t speak to each other and operate in boxes of their own. If ethics, creed and religion is not impacting our etiquette i.e., our mannerism, then they are questionable.

The Bible lays a principle which says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.”.  You may ask, “this sounds great, but is it that easy to follow?” It is possible if you are impacted by the life of Jesus who was not just a great moral teacher and a spiritual guru, but He is God Himself who resurrected from the grave and lives. All who met Him while He was in body were healed from all diseases, raised from dead and many lives transformed too. In one incident the guards were commanded to arrest Jesus. Returning without arresting Him they make a sweeping statement, “No man spoke like this man”. When you follow Jesus the God of universe, your life is transformed with love and respect for one another.  You become kind, compassionate and honest in all your dealings.  Most importantly our lives would reflect the nature of a true God.  

 

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Knowing so much and knowing so little!

 

Have you notice that we are able to know everything in terms of what is happening, why it is happening and why it is not happening in the way it should be happening but on the other hand we are also clueless to things even though they look so simple and straight. We always wish we were in perfect control, at least things that fall in our sphere of influence. Every day we forget our finiteness and our inability to be in perfect control of things all times.

There are many business tycoons and billionaires whom we thought are in perfect control but are suddenly convicted and jailed, if not for longer period but least for a short time? The highest power in human terms is the possession of immense wealth, which people believe they can use it to rescue themselves from any crisis. Yet with all the abundance they are still not in perfect control. This shows the glaring distinction between God and Man. We are just human.

John Frame states, “Because we are not God, because we are finite, not infinite, we cannot know everything at a glance, and therefore our knowledge is limited to one perspective or another. God knows absolutely everything, because he planned everything, made everything, and determines what happens in the world he made. So, we describe him as omniscient. One interesting implication of God’s omniscience is that he not only knows all the facts about himself and the world; he also knows how everything appears from every possible perspective.”.

But we are different. We are finite, and our knowledge is finite. We can only know the world from the limited perspective of our own body and mind. The effects of this finitude, and even more of sin, should caution us against overconfidence in our claims to knowledge. I am not saying that we should doubt everything. Certainly, our limited perspective gives us no excuse to doubt that we have five fingers, or that 2+2 = 4, or that God exists. Our finitude does not imply that all our knowledge is wrong, or that certainty is impossible. But we do, in most situations, need to guard against mistakes.

The fact we know so much and know so little will continue to be our reality. We need to understand things from God’s perspective and ask God to help us. He understands our broken human condition. Jesus’ awareness of the finiteness of human beings is stated in the Bible as, “No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart.”. Jesus was God incarnate. The problem is that we look to the infinite God only when we want things. Especially, to gratify our selfish desires. Your soul matters as it never dies. It is also never recreated to a new creature as told through the stories. We shall all live eternally.  Jesus stated, “… I came that you may have life and life in abundance.”. Experiencing the forgiveness of sins and living according to His will allows us to know our path and live a life in abundance.

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A busy Mind!

 

Photo Courtesy Elizabeth Drain

Most of us are familiar with this proverb which says, “an idle mind is a devil’s workshop,” it teaches us those evil thoughts enter our mind easily when we are lazy and idle. But in this blog, I intend to talk about the opposite, a busy mind. A busy mind can be a constant distraction. Some people can’t even sleep well at night because of all the thoughts running through their heads. They’re thinking about all that happened during the day; thinking about their plans for tomorrow; thinking about children, finances, past mistakes, future. Some even have imaginary conversations with people, picturing what they’ll say if this happens or if that happens. Sometimes they even rehearse conversations of the day, thinking about what they should have said. Thinking and thinking!

Cognitive psychologist says, on an average at any given day we have anything between 40,000 to 70,000 thoughts going through our walking mind. That is overwhelming, right! And that tells us how busy, human mind can be. It is indeed a challenge to calm this mind especially when it is agitated. Psychologist comment that more than 60 % of our thoughts are usually negative. No doubt, we have so many therapies that are intended to soothe human mind. I am not sure the effectiveness part of it, but at least this is a profitable deal today.

Is your mind extremely busy, overthinking and refusing to calm down? It is time that it seeks God the Almighty and finds rest. Jesus more than one occasion told His disciples, “take therefore no thought for the morrow…”. And then He referred to the birds of the sky as an example and said, “Consider the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?” It is just the matter of faith that takes to trust Him and lay the burden on Him. While it may not be possible for you to silence thoughts that sometimes flood your mind, you can consciously submit the thoughts to God the Father.

Nothing drives away our sense of peace more than overthinking things. An overactive mind can keep you awake at night, leaving you tired during the day. It can prevent you from being able to stay focused on things that need your attention. It can cause you to wonder about your relationships with people, the security of your circumstances, the stability of your future and it can certainly negatively affect how you perceive your relationship with God. The Bible says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you”. The key to managing a barrage of thoughts is to set your mind on God. Learn to trust in Him to experience your busy and tired mind, calming down with rest and hope.

As you grow in His understanding and develop the habit of submitting a hyperactive mind to Him, He will bring growth in you. You will find rest while you learn more and more about continuously giving the details of your life to Him. No number of religious rituals can help you though it may give a momentary satisfaction but never a permanent state of calmness. Just learn to put your faith on Jesus and ask Him to relax you. And most importantly invite Him into your life for a transformed state of mind. You will never be disappointed. He is the savior and a living God who indwells human heart.

 

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