Behaving strangely!

The study of human behavior in psychology has found that we all act and behave in a particular way. Tim Lahaye in his book “Why You Act in The Way You Do” points out temperament as one of the reasons. This is the excerpt from his book. “The combination of your parents’ genes and chromosomes at conception, which determined your basic temperament nine months before you drew your first breath, is largely responsible for your actions, reactions, emotional responses, and, to one degree or another, almost everything you do…Temperament is the combination of traits we inherited from our parents. No one knows where it resides, but I think it is somewhere in the mind or emotional center (often referred to as the heart). From that source it combines with other human characteristics to produce our basic makeup.”.

He states four types of temperament, namely, Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic and Melancholic. Google has detailed information on these types however, here is the brief description:

Sanguine is a warm, buoyant, lively, and “enjoying” person. Receptive by nature, external impressions easily find their way to his heart, where they cause an outburst of response. 

Choleric is hot, quick, active, practical, strong-willed, self-sufficient, and very independent He tends to be decisive and opinionated, finding it easy to make decisions both for himself and other people. 

Melancholy is the richest of all the temperaments. He is an analytical, self-sacrificing, gifted, perfectionist type with a very sensitive emotional nature. 

Phlegmatic is the calm, easygoing, never-get-upset individual with such a high boiling point that he almost never becomes angry. 

All traits mentioned above are a mixture of good and bad. As humans we always want to do good with intentionality, but we end up doing bad as it is easy. The Bible mentions the greatest of human contradictions through one of its Apostle, “I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate.”. God created man in His image and likeness. Unfortunately, it was our disobedience and pride to play God that brought sin into our life. This led to our heart filled with guilt. We started living our life since then with a disorganized heart leading to doing bad instead of good. We try to trick God by doing some philanthropic work, doing rituals, and other such things to get rid of guilt and be right with God. However, we fail to realize that these actions have not altered the core sin problem in our heart, and we continue to stumble over and over again.

This battle of the mind and the cry of the desperate heart is making a person to act in a particular way based on the context and response. Is there a solution? Yes, there is! Only Jesus in the entire world diagnosed the heart problem and the sin problem accurately. He has given us the prescription of encountering Him only through holiness and purity of heart. He said, “Be ye holy because I am holy.”.  Although it’s a seven-word sentence it can cleanse us and make us whole if we are willing to obey and behave as said. 

One can be fanatical being part of a sect or religion, but without a change of heart, one is still guilty. Open your heart to Jesus to cleanse you from all sin. Ask Him for forgiveness and He is willing to transform not only your heart but also your behavior. He has promised life with Him here on earth and for eternity. This hope is there for us because of His resurrection. He is willing to live in our hearts right now if we are willing to let Him in.

  

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Conviction Dictates your Habits!

Life is full of patterns, and some play themselves repeatedly. Hence, our daily routines happened without reminders like waking up in the morning, finishing up our chores, going to work. There are also things that we accomplish because of our physical and emotional urges. On the other hand, there are few habits that we do because of our convictions. It can be a healthy physical habit or spiritual habit. Habit is initiated by a cue, and we are more likely to notice cues that stand out. It’s easy not to practice the guitar or any musical instrument when it’s tucked away in the closet. It’s easy not to read a book when the book is safely packed in a box. It’s easy not to take your vitamins when they are out of sight in the pantry. When the cues that spark a habit are subtle or hidden, they are easy to ignore.

 

If you notice we all experience the power of obvious cues in our lives. Do you remember an instance when you buy apples or your favourite fruits from the store, put them in the rack at the bottom of the refrigerator, and forget all about them? By the time you remembered the apples would have gone bad. So, the best advice in such a case is to have a large display bowl and keep it on the dining table or at a place where the eyes can more frequently notice it. I am sure many could relate with what I am saying.

 

James Clear in His book Atomic Habits talks about redesigning the environment and making the cue for the preferred habits more obvious. For example, if you want to take your morning Medication without fail have it near your bed or near the fridge or a water container. Similarly, if you want to read your favorite book keep it in a place where your eye catches the attention.

 

There are the things known as conviction which is the powerful stimulator. That's the matter of the heart supported by your purpose to live. When you are convinced about a person whom you love no matter what, you ensure to connect and build a positive relationship. Similarly, if someone is convinced that his/her recent encounter with the spiritual truth which has touched and changed his /her life, then the person is driven by a stronger conviction to know more about it and follow a set of habits. The person decides to read the holy scriptures quite often to know the truth. But then if the Holy scriptures or scripture materials are kept on the tables the visual cue can further support his/her conviction.

 

Convictions are different than just knowing a belief system. When convictions are grounded upon truth and facts, then there are life-changing experiences that keep happening. Great conviction that can happen to anyone is on the matter of God. In the quest of knowing the truth, the story of Jesus was exposed to create a stronger conviction to know that this person on the earth was the greatest man ever lived in history. He was not man who became a God but God becoming man to be one of us, to die a human death brutally, resurrected and solved the problem of death for us forever. The hope that we all shall live forever with the commitment to believe, accept Him and follow Him is a life changing experience. Powerful convictions are encountering God's truth which automatically created an inner habit that steer your life to live with essence of truth. You can know more from the link provided.

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THE FOUR

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Deciding to Decide!

33,000 to 35,000 decisions are what an average adult takes every day. This includes what we eat, wear, drink, what to communicate and how to communicate it. Weirdly majority of our decisions are related to our existence and survival. Once our decisions ensure these two then our attention turns to gratifying our wants and desires of the heart. We achieve them using the right and wrong means to get them at all costs. If we observe carefully, we tend to take wrong decisions more easily than the right. The heart goes right into a dilemma that leads to the sin problem. C S Lewis states, “Humans are seldom either totally sincere or totally hypocritical. Their moods change, their motives are mixed and they are often themselves quite mistaken as to what their motives are.”.

Apart from God, our minds are plagued with dark sinful thoughts which tends to lead us astray (to a point that we believe wrong things of God to justify our means). Our harmful habits of addictions and overeating though seem small decisions alter our life significantly to the point of destroying us. The reality is that man is not good, not even neutral. It says in the Bible, “There is no one righteous, not even one. There is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away; all alike have become worthless. There is no one who does good not even one”. We end up becoming enemies of God, and the worst part is, it is because of our own doing. Each of us have at one point in life raised up a rebellious fist of denial toward a God they knew existed. Some are still in denial.

The life altering decision for good would be to know the true God and have fellowship with Him. It’s not the version where you follow rituals and visit religious places at your convenience. It is following a true God and having a relationship with Him. You can experience this with Jesus who promised us abundant life and eternal life if you believe Him and accept Him as your personal Savior. We can have full confidence in this fact as Jesus lived a sinless life and rose from the dead for us to experience this life in abundance.  

The spirit of God indwells human heart. You are God’s most sacred place and His treasured possession. As A W Tozer says, ‘the reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders and interfering with God’s work with us.”. The moment one believes that he/she is the temple of God and allows the spirit of the Holy God, Christ Jesus to live within, his /her life is transformed. The decisions the person makes and the life the person leads becomes noteworthy and worth imitating. As Brennan manning said, “Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion.”.

 

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THE FOUR

Making a commitment 

 

 

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Is radical change a camouflage?

Have you come across people who have transformed in their personality? It could be that they have decided to change their habits to be more appealing to others. There are those who were deep in their addiction to smoking and alcoholism and had given up overnight. The reasons could be that they decide to modify their lifestyle or have made the decision not to hurt their loved ones anymore. There are changes that are radical and transform a person for life or some changes are just temporary.

 

People with chronic addiction justify their life-threatening habits. However, the real reason is that their heart is not at peace, and they don’t find joy and happiness in any area of life. Their life becomes a large jigsaw puzzle with different pieces mixed and matched for survival but eventually the pieces don’t fit together, making their lives an utter confusion. Their life recipe is cooked in a large pot of influence by friends, families, mainstream media, social media. Nancy Guthrie gives a perspective on why our life is gloomy, “Sometimes we wonder why we aren’t happy, why we make sinful choices, why we feel distant from God. Often, it’s because we have small thoughts of ourselves, our wants, our rights, and our accomplishments.”.

 

We have numerous resources for inspiration, like self-help books, motivational gurus, and religious places. However, these can help only so far but are not sustainable. The fact of the matter is we hardly change. We keep repeating the same mistake often, only in different newer ways. We do what we want to do and get what we want at all costs. We find new ways to get them and rationalize our actions and wants. Brad Brisco states, “Living out of the false self creates a compulsive desire to present a perfect image to the public so that everybody will admire us, and nobody will know us.”. We camouflage our sin and live comfortably as long as we keep looking good to others.

 

Charles Bukowski states, “False morality is the disease of a people who are told what to think and how to act from an early beginning.”. Therefore, true change of behavior is rare to witness. Until one is truly convicted for the need to change, all other changes are mere camouflages and shift based on circumstances. The problem of sin remains unaddressed. The Bible states, “the soul who sins shall die.”. Guilt reveals its ugly face as our sin torments our heart and mind. Our heart needs to be cleansed and purified by a true God. Only then can we find joy and happiness. Our hearts can only be at rest only by finding true forgiveness. If we fail to experience this process, we are sure to return to our sinful lifestyle quickly. Jesus has made a provision to forgive our sins when we confess to Him. He was not a mere human who was like god but a God who came in human form and died on the cross for the sins of mankind. True divine transformation can happen only with the intervention of this divine God.

 

 

Resources:

THE FOUR

Making a commitment 

 

 

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