First time is a chance, the second a warning!

 

Paulo Coelho made a statement which says, “everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”. That’s the law of patterns: the first time is a chance, the second is warning and the third is consequence. Wish more people understood that life is all about patterns. You’re not broken. You’re repeating something. A thought. A reaction. A story. Change the pattern and you change your life. Well, this is easier said than done. Patterns are outward symptoms of something brewing in the human heart and mind. We are so accustomed to naturally think and choose evil than good, which results in recurring patterns of destructive behavior. 

The Bible explicitly states the nature of human mind as “… always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth…men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.” (2 Timothy 3:7-8). The author in the Bible quotes an example of certain men who opposed leadership not because of mere likability but because of their depraved mindset which affected their behavior.  If you observe the patterns in human behavior and thoughts, you will notice:

>Our habits, both positive and negative, are patterns of behavior. 

>Our emotional responses often follow predictable patterns. 

>The Law of Patterns suggests that our external reality reflects our internal state. 

If we experience chaos or negativity in our circumstances, it may indicate a corresponding pattern of chaos or negativity within us.

The quote, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit,"attributed to the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle. What we repeatedly do can be attributed in two ways, 1. Intentionally doing things repeatedly eventually making it a habit or pattern, and 2. We get caught in a web of lies and promises through which we end up doing certain things as a pattern. 

The Bible diagnosing about the human heart states, "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" Heart can constantly be misleading in the way it tempts, allures and supports evil effortlessly. The heart is never a moral compass to point out to the truth and what is right. Truth can be only found in a person Jesus Christ who claimed it and invited people to follow the truth. Jesus is in the business of transforming human lives, their nature and patterns. 

A man called Saul of Tarsus recorded in the Bible states that he became inflamed with hatred for the followers of Jesus. He sought to destroy the church in Jerusalem (Acts 8:1–3 Bible) and then headed for Damascus to tear up the church there (Acts 9:1–2 Bible). By his own admission he states, “even though I was a formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an arrogant man. But I received mercy because I acted out of ignorance and unbelief.”.  The pattern of this man was to put the followers of Jesus into prison, persecute them, and destroying the Churches in Jerusalem. His pattern was broken when he encountered Jesus in the way to Damascus. He was totally transformed and immediately started sharing his transformative love of Christ to others. 

You can change the consequences of your behavior pattern by looking to Christ Jesus for help. You don’t have to merely struggle to form a good pattern. He transforms a person like Saul of Tarsus from inside out. This same person who was called formerly Saul and later Paul writes in one of his books in the Bible, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away; behold, the new has come". I invite you start your life with a new set of pattern which will be transformative and transcendental.

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The cost of an un-surrendered life!

 

There is a price we pay for everything. Commodities have a visible price attached to them but there is a price we pay for our choices in life. The consequences for some choices may be immediate while some haunt us for life. Mostly the price we pay in such cases are recurring and painful. A harmonious relationship makes life enriching, but a contentious relationship wearies us. The underlying factor in all of this is our stiving to have control and we commit and surrender to wrong things in life.

In our desire to control every outcome, we try to steer our lives down a meticulously planned path. I’m a planner. I like to know when something is going to happen and what it’s going to look like. On the contrary a life of faith works on uncertainty. God rarely gives us a map and a timeline. I would even dare to say, God does not work in certainty. When I strive to control my outcomes, I end in disappointment. Surrendering is not accepting defeat but the humble belief that God holds the blueprint for our lives. We try to be self-styled gods by making things work for us through our abundant resources and opportunities. This deceives us into thinking that we neither need help from others or the need to commit and surrender to God.

The best description of surrender is when Jesus framed the top two commandments i.e. to love the Lord God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength and then to love their neighbors as themselves. Surrendering in Jesus’ term is to love the Lord and people unconditionally. When love for God is unconditional then you are automatically prepared to love one another like yourself. The purpose of life is to know God and to love Him and love others as Jesus’ commanded. When you hold on to something that is not part of God’s will and refuse to surrender, then you pay the price. The core of such rebellion and defiance is a moral decline. They may be holding on to something which they cherish, and value more than God and they fail to realize it is sin. They may miserably fail in all that they do yet be unwilling to commit their life to God. 

For God’s blueprint of your life to be revealed, our surrendering and committing is crucial. We need to receive forgiveness from our sins, which we can find only in Christ and be a transformed person. In the realm of faith, surrender does not equate to weakness; rather, it signifies a profound strength found in trusting God’s love and plans for us. Scripture offers abundant clarity and guidance on this - “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Surrender involves relinquishing our need for control and placing our lives confidently in God’s hands, knowing He has our best interest at heart.

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I am convinced that I am right this time!

 

“I want what I want” is a mantra most of us use and find enough reasons to rationalize our desire however harmful it maybe. There is an amount of exploration, chasing and seeking we do to get what we want. If our desire is acceptable within the societal norms, even better. An example is gay marriage, which is acceptable in some societies so it’s okay to be gay and look for a gay partner. The matter of right versus wrong depends on the environment we are living in.

So, what is the parameter for right and wrong. Each culture dictates its own dress code, food habits, relationships models and people adapt to them accordingly. For example, are live-in relationships one of the models for marriage? Not really. Let me point out an example from the Bible, one of the apostle’s states, 1 Corinthians 11:14-16 “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”. This issue can be argued based on each culture’s preference.

However, certain choices of individuals are questionable and at times up for criticism. There is the cultural framework but more than that there is the moral framework of God. As humans we have tested the boundaries of God’s moral framework and have nudged the boundaries lines far enough to brazen our conscience. Recently, I read a shocking news about Ukraine. Its parliament has planned to legalize pornography to fund its war efforts. Seriously? The means can be justified based on the need, but we fail to see the larger picture of what it will do to the country. It will disintegrate family, society and community, culminating to a massive swift downfall. It means your goal (the end) is so important that any method you use to achieve your goal (the means) is acceptable.

The lines of right and wrong have blurred with every passing generation. Our selfish needs have moved the boundaries significantly. Beware! Trial and error method doesn’t work in real life. Mistakes being repeated does not mean you were wrong the first time but right the next. 

The more we push our moral boundaries the greater is the fall. When the spirit of the Lord leads us then there is perfect leading and peace. Decisions within the moral framework of God don’t need social and cultural acceptance. It’s perfect on its own. The Bible states “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.”. Quit compromising on your values and heed to the leading of the Spirit of God. Assess your selfish desires and the lessons you learnt by giving into them. We learn from the Bible, "The Spirit of the Lord will not always strive with man", which means it signifies that God's patience with humanity's sinfulness has its limits. It also implies that there will be a point where God's Spirit will cease striving with people, leading to drastic consequences. You are in God’s hand and His perfect plan for your life is for your own welfare. Quit creating your own plan and tagging it as God’s will for your life.

 

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Denying the knowing!

We play dumb even after knowing the truth as it contradicts our beliefs or our spiritual habits. We lie to ourselves and one of those lies is the existence of an Almighty. In the Bible it says, “The fool says in his heart ‘There is no God.’”. The interpretation here is not calling man a fool for thinking there is no God but for telling himself there is no God. Self-deception is pretending to ourselves that we don’t know what we really do. Unbelievers do not disbelieve, they reject.

One of the apostles in the Bible says, “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and wickedness of men who by their wickedness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse; for although they knew God they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking and their senseless minds were darkened.”. Here, the author is not criticizing them for not knowing about God but pretending not to know God. 

Today, Religious festivals and celebrations are more hazardous, unhealthy and politicized. People want  everyone to accept their version of truth and fight for it. Deception and lies are already existing in every spectrum of society but more so in the human heart which denies merely for moral reasons. Due to this pervasive mind-set most people seek out temporary truths or truths given for the moment. Additionally, the worries of life distract majority of us from seeking an answer to the transcendent question of whether there is any ultimate universal truth. Instead, we seek theories and advice that can just help us get through another day. Although this type of information doesn't answer our deepest longings and questions about life, we often feel it is the best we have. 

Jesus said He is the truth. Jesus once had a fascinating discussion with a man called Pilate who was the governor of the Roman empire. Pilate asked, ‘what is truth?’ Jesus had previously given His followers the answer to this very question - “I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father except through me” with this statement Jesus was indicating if you are confused and lost and don't know what direction to go, ‘I am the way’. If you're looking for someone in whom to trust someone to believe in or wisdom or what you should do, ‘I am…the truth’. If you're seeking an answer to why you exist and how you should live, ‘I am the life’.  The point is that truth could be found in the man who was standing right in front of Pilate - in the person of Jesus Christ. The truth of Jesus is not abstract relative or ideological, it is definite, consistent, and universally applicable. Such an assertion is sadly foreign to many people's reason and prior experience. The moment one rejects the truth or downplays it, deception takes over. Do you want to be open to knowing this truth which is an invitation for all to know and adopt? 

 

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Subtle Assurance!

Have you observed that people give you just enough love to keep your hopes up. Just enough attention to convince they’ve changed. We all long to receive genuine love and care. This becomes a vantage point for many to approach and befriend temporarily. Maybe because you are candid and honest you expect the same in return. But how many times did you find out that those whom you were counting upon were the ones who just left you with subtle assurances that they care for you and love you with all their heart but what they did is using you in their story for their personal advantage. 

Disappointed? The good news is you are not alone. Many who keep longing for support, friendship and a little care have been victims of such deception at some point of time. This world has increasingly become hostile and disloyal. Selfishness has taken the front seat. People find ways to use one another as a ladder to climb, stomping others down. The Bible narrates how people in the end time will turn to be more subtle and crafty. It is found in the Bible, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,  having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!”

Deception is rampant and it is so hard to trust anyone these days. We are dependent on each other but are we paranoid in our relationships? That will be too crude. We will offend each other and ourselves in the process. The teaching of the adage “Treat others the way in which you wish to be treated,”. Some people do the opposite. Whether it’s an act of disrespect, manipulation or exploitation. Some people will only “love you” as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop. You will find kindness misinterpreted as weakness. When you have a kind heart, people can play at your heart strings to get what they want. And then people also want to hold each other as bait by showing little kindness, little favors, feigning trustworthiness all the while playing subtle games. 

How do we go forward with such people? Continue to be kind, genuine and honest. You don’t have to change yourself because you are hurt. Trust God in your difficult times. Jesus faced betrayal and deception, yet He sacrificed Himself for the salvation of mankind and understands your pain. Jesus promised, “I will never leave your nor forsake you”. He is closer to you than you think. You can never be alone and despondent of your situation or you crisis. He brings the right help and people who could understand you when you are in your lowest moment. We tend to focus on people but help from the Lord is abundant and can come in any form, if you learn to know Him and trust Him more. 

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