Who are you in reality?

 

Are the following questions familiar to you? Why is my son/daughter’s behaviour weird at times? Why is it they don’t understand my difficulties? Do they need reminder of my care for them in difficult times? Why is my spouse’s behaviour so unpredictable? At times it is difficult to approach my spouse when in his/her bad mood. Why is the one with whom I relate with is so religious yet so unloving and arrogant? Why does one maintain a dual personality? Many Christian parents complain that their children’s behaviour is at its best to the outside world but uncaring and rude at home. This is somewhat similar with leaders of social/charitable/religious organizations where their selfless efforts are praised by the public, but they are ruthless and oppressive to their workers. It raises so many questions about the “good”.

The above are some among the many concerns that people pose to me when they need counselling. They are surprised at the same time confused that the person’s devotion and religiosity have no implication to one’s behaviour. These are people who are in our inner circle of influence who turn out to be sociopaths or psychopaths as described in psychiatric terms.

Solomon the wisest king wrote this book Proverbs which is the book in the Bible, where he poses this question, “Many a men will proclaim everyone his own goodness: But a faithful man who can find?”. Medically we do not have medicines to cure personality disorders. It can be done only through counselling, also, only if the individual accepts they are wrong and they need help to change their behaviour. To understand the two personality disorders - sociopaths and psychopaths – let’s do some analysis to understand them better. They are as follows:

Sociopaths have a limited, although weak, ability to feel empathy and remorse. They're also more likely to fly off the handle and react violently when confronted by the consequences of their actions.            

· Make it clear they do not care how others feels.

·Behave in hot-headed and impulsive ways.

· Prone to fits of anger and rage.

· Recognize what they are doing but rationalize their behaviour.

·Cannot maintain a regular work and family life.

·Can form emotional attachments, but it is difficult.

Psychopaths are classified as people with little or no conscience but are able to follow social conventions when it suits their needs. 

· Pretend to care.

· Display cold-hearted behaviour.

·Fail to recognize other people's distress.

· Have relationships that are shallow and fake.

· Maintain a normal life as a cover for criminal activity.

·Fail to form genuine emotional attachments.

· May love people in their own way.

If you identify with either of these traits, you are in the danger zone. Before it is too late it’s time to seek help rather than losing your soul in the process. Everything points out to the state of the human heart. It is extremely wicked, and it needs a Saviour. People can be religious and yet unrepentant.

The Bible talks about how we can be evil despite of being religious. The Bible states, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:  For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!” Have you noticed the last line which says, ‘having a form of godliness’? Sadly, people misuse everything including religion for their survival. People change their masks based on the need to be recognised. But living with true sanity depends upon your willingness to accept the Saviour who is willing to forgive you from all your failures, shortcomings and evil nature and transform you completely.

 

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